SLOWEST RACE EVER – GTA 5 Gameplay

SLOWEST RACE EVER – GTA 5 Gameplay


LAWRENCE: Heres a top tip for ya! *digital beeping noise* JACK: Tip top.
LAWRENCE: When you’re in the golf cart… LAWRENCE: Make sure that all your wheels are on the ground when you boost. JACK: When you boost. LAWRENCE: Cause you’re gonna – you’re gonna hit some ramps and you’re gonna wanna flop up like that. BRUCE: I know what he’s saying. LAWRENCE: Don’t boost like that. JACK: Okay.
CHAD: Don’t do it.
LAWRENCE: You gotta wait for your… LAWRENCE: You gotta wait for yourself to come in.
JACK: Boosts on the ground. Got it. GEOFF: Yeah. LAWRENCE: Yeah, see? It doesn’t matter though! He doesn’t know what that means! BRUCE: What happens if Jack is the Wizard though? CHAD: Can you, can you?
BRUCE: Jack – Jack could be the Wizard. JACK: Like from, like the movie The Wizard? BRUCE: Yeah! From Fred Savage. LAWRENCE: No, from – from…
BRUCE: Oh The Wiz… I’m talking about The Wiz. JACK: Oh ok!
BRUCE: No, I’m talking about The Wiz. BRUCE: That’s what I meant. JACK: *singing* Ease on down the road! JACK: David Alan Grier is in a new remake of The Wiz. BRUCE: You bet he is!
JACK: Yeah.
GEOFF: Saw that. BRUCE: And uh…
JACK: I saw it our taxi. BRUCE: Queen Latifah… and Mary J. Blige. JACK: Michael Jackson.
CHAD: Oh really? LAWRENCE: The 80’s is the only time you can get away with a movie like that. LAWRENCE: Or like, The Apple… LAWRENCE: No one’s chiming in here.
BRUCE: What the hell are you talking about?
*everybody talking at once* LAWRENCE: It’s just a bombastic stage play about how beautiful and magical… LAWRENCE: Uh… LAWRENCE: I think – I think it’s a retelling of The Wizard of Oz…
BRUCE: Do you know what he’s talking about? CHAD: No. LAWRENCE: But takes place inside New York. BRUCE: Does anyone know what he’s talking about?
CHAD: I don’t know. CHAD: I love watching bad movies, it’s like a guilty pleasure of mine. LAWRENCE: Go do it man.
BRUCE: Aw jeez. BRUCE: Well Lawrence loves doing that. LAWRENCE: The next one on deck for me is Looker, by Michael Crichton. BRUCE: *sigh* BRUCE: Jack, you’re in the front! JACK: Yay! I’m number one! BRUCE: Why is he going so slow? CHAD: I mean, it is a golf cart.
LAWRENCE: Cause they’re golf carts. LAWRENCE: These are terrible. GEOFF: He missed his turbo. LAWRENCE: Haaa! JACK: Ohhh there’s a hole there! LAWRENCE: There you go. It lined you up. JACK: *car engine sounds*
GEOFF: Game glitch. JACK: Vroom! LAWRENCE: Nope. CHAD: Can you bump ’em off to their deaths?
JACK: I just magically floated! JACK: That was weird.
LAWRENCE: Yeah of course. LAWRENCE: Hooo! CHAD: Ooop! CHAD: Ohhh! JACK: What? BRUCE: Oh right there, right there Jack! CHAD: Nope nope! BRUCE: Ooop nice move! CHAD: Ohhh!
BRUCE: Oh nice move! BRUCE: Turn that wheel! CHAD: Slow and steady!
GEOFF: Save it save it save it! BRUCE: Hale and hearty! Ahhh! LAWRENCE: Don’t don’t… Ah there ya go. BRUCE: No no don’t go down the middle. CHAD: You don’t, you don’t. CHAD: You guys remember that minigame in Mario Party? LAWRENCE: Hooo!
JACK: No. CHAD: One and two?
BRUCE: No. JACK: We don’t play Nintendo games.
CHAD: Where you run… BRUCE: Are we talking about The Apple again? JACK: Aw you son of a bitch! BRUCE: Jack, I thought you said you – you’re good at this! JACK: *high pitched* Did I say that? BRUCE: Get outta the way! JACK: Awww.
CHAD: It’s his strategy. CHAD: He’s hindering you. CHAD: Uh oh. BRUCE: Oooo boy.
GEOFF: Alright Jack.
LAWRENCE: That was tricky. BRUCE: That was risky. JACK: Mad skills!
CHAD: Oh he’s gonna bump you! JACK: Mad – ahhh!
LAWRENCE: *laughs*
CHAD: -60 360! GEOFF: Alright retard, make it up the hill.
LAWRENCE: Back it up! BRUCE: Nice spin!
LAWRENCE: There we go.
JACK: Awww! LAWRENCE: Tide’s out!
BRUCE: He’s got it he’s got it! JACK: There we go.
LAWRENCE: It’s just an empty golf cart. BRUCE: *laughs* I know.
LAWRENCE: Fuck this! BRUCE: Ohhh ahhh! LAWRENCE: And…!
CHAD: Blazing speed.
JACK: Mad skills. LAWRENCE: Yeah here we go.
BRUCE: Oh no. LAWRENCE: This is…
CHAD: You have an opportunity!
LAWRENCE: Here we go. BRUCE: Boost off the end!
LAWRENCE: Boost again. CHAD: Don’t even look, just boost!
JACK: Weee!
LAWRENCE: Yeah! BRUCE: Wait, where ya going?
LAWRENCE: I think you’re gonna make it.
CHAD: We’ll find out. GEOFF: Oh you got it. LAWRENCE: You made it! BRUCE: *yelling* AHHH!
CHAD: You did it!
BRUCE: What an amazing jump! BRUCE: Oh you gotta be shitting me! LAWRENCE: That’s not gonna work. CHAD: No no no no! LAWRENCE: That’s not gonna work! BRUCE: Wait there’s no way! CHAD: You have to boost it!
LAWRENCE: There’s no way! BRUCE: You have to boost again?
LAWRENCE: You gotta wall-ride baby! CHAD: And then drift it.
LAWRENCE: And then come back down! BRUCE: Oh fuck no!
JACK: Oh my god, screw that. BRUCE: How do you get another boost?
LAWRENCE: You don’t.
JACK: No one bothered telling me that. LAWRENCE: You don’t, you just need the momentum. BRUCE: What the fuck are you talking about? LAWRENCE: Also sometimes one boost…
JACK: Wee!
LAWRENCE: Is not enough. LAWRENCE: So get rid – get ready for that. JACK: You get ready for that. CHAD: Ohhhhhhhh…
JACK: ba na na na na
LAWRENCE: Got it! BRUCE: Oh get that boost!
CHAD: No don’t stop! BRUCE: Oh now you can do it! Go go! Boost! BRUCE: Oh!
CHAD: He got it!
JACK: I used it! LAWRENCE: I told you not to use it. LAWRENCE: You don’t, you just need the momentum. BRUCE: What the fuck are you talking about? JACK: There we go.
GEOFF: You’re a goddamn lunatic. JACK: I got this. I’m gonna boost. GEOFF: Umph…
CHAD: You might…
BRUCE: Boost. JACK: I am boosting.
CHAD: Not have needed to boost. LAWRENCE: Alright just cut the wheel really hard once you get up there. CHAD: Yeah it’s…
JACK: Argh, cutting it! CHAD: No wait, do it do it do it! JACK: Ugh.
BRUCE: Wait. What in the…? LAWRENCE: I don’t know why you didn’t boost. GEOFF: Yeah you should’ve boosted.
OTHERS: *laugh* BRUCE: You got momentum! GEOFF: Alright you got momentum, keep going! LAWRENCE: Hooo!
CHAD: You’re doin’ it! BRUCE: You got it Jack!
GEOFF: Oh oh oh yassss! BRUCE: *yelling* Oh Jack!
CHAD: No! Yes! GEOFF: *screams* BRUCE: Momentum.
LAWRENCE: Don’t use your boosts, just clear it. BRUCE: Cut the wheel.
GEOFF: Alright cut it up. CHAD: Turn!
BRUCE: Turn left!
CHAD: Turn! CHAD: Turn! Turn turn turn!
BRUCE: Aw nice. LAWRENCE: There you go. CHAD: Now chill, just…
GEOFF: You got this, you got this LAWRENCE: Checkpoint!
BRUCE: Nice!
GEOFF: Checkpoint! BRUCE: Nice.
GEOFF: Ye-uh! BRUCE: Nice job.
CHAD: Slow and steady.
JACK: Perfect, this is like… JACK: I’m like, done now, right? GEOFF: Yeah, you’re in 20th place. JACK: Ah no!
BRUCE: What’re you supposed to race on there? JACK: Ohhh.
LAWRENCE: When the – when the waves go low… LAWRENCE: There’s a little *voice cracks* gate you can drive on. BRUCE: *laughs*
CHAD: Oh! BRUCE: Your voice…
CHAD: You’re incorporating the water…
BRUCE: Your voice cracked. JACK: *high pitched whine*
LAWRENCE: Too excited. BRUCE: Yeah… *broken voice* There’s a gate! BRUCE: Nice!
LAWRENCE: There you go!
JACK: Woo! CHAD: He did it!
GEOFF: Oh you bastard. That was awesome. LAWRENCE: Good job.
CHAD: Slow and steady.
JACK: Alright now what? JACK: Do I boost? I’m boosting. CHAD: Oh god.
BRUCE: Oh wow that’s risky. BRUCE: Oh boy. LAWRENCE: Sure man. CHAD: Oh jeez. BRUCE: Sure, sure bro.
LAWRENCE: Ok. CHAD: Oh god.
LAWRENCE: Now…
CHAD: Now brakes! LAWRENCE: Here’s the climax of the map. JACK: You’re a climax.
LAWRENCE: Well not that. LAWRENCE: But after this.
JACK: Ugh!
CHAD: Ah! GEOFF: Boost’ll help. BRUCE: And then boo-
CHAD: No! BRUCE: Awww!
JACK: I was told not to… BRUCE: Boost boost boost boost boost! CHAD: Boost! LAWRENCE: You’re gettin’ too floppy, yeah you can’t boost… LAWRENCE: So yeah, just make sure you hit that ramp… BRUCE: Oh he’s gonna take it.
LAWRENCE: Oh gotta grab it. JACK: Son of a bitch.
BRUCE: Oh no you got it. LAWRENCE: There ya go.
BRUCE: Boost! JACK: Wh-who!
BRUCE: Ohhh yeah Jack! JACK: Oh no!
BRUCE: Oh no no no! JACK: Hey! Who’s that person?
BRUCE: Sorry Sandra! GEOFF: Just boost, just boost, just boost!
JACK: Move! GEOFF: It’s Sandra! LAWRENCE: I think you can make this. GEOFF: Just boost!
JACK: Alright here we go. LAWRENCE: Boost. Hit it and boost. JACK: Ungh!
LAWRENCE: Just go and boost. LAWRENCE: Just boost through…
JACK: Alright I’m tryna boost. JACK: There we go! Boost! LAWRENCE: Eh. Oo! GEOFF: Oh sh…
CHAD: Can you boost again? BRUCE: Uh oh.
CHAD: What.
LAWRENCE: Oh you’re not gonna make it. JACK: There’s not…
GEOFF: That doesn’t seem… BRUCE: Wait, what’re you supposed to do?
CHAD: You just got close.
JACK: Yeah what’s going on there? LAWRENCE: THAT is the hardest jump. CHAD: Oh.
JACK: Great.
GEOFF: Fuck. LAWRENCE: You haven’t made it to that one yet. BRUCE: Oh you got it!
JACK: Oh!
CHAD: 180! BRUCE: *yells* OHHH!
CHAD: YEAH! BRUCE: What a trick!
JACK: That – that takes mad skills right there. BRUCE: Get the boost Jack!
CHAD: Sick 180!
BRUCE: Get that *voice cracks* boost! LAWRENCE: Unfortunately it’s not looking good for Jack. LAWRENCE: He’s coming into…
JACK: OH!
CHAD: Ah bitch! LAWRENCE: Maybe if you get those two boosts in a row, except there’s… *laughter* JACK: Oh I’m thinking of Portals! BRUCE: Oh you – you used it twice! No not enough cause your wheels are all… GEOFF: Skip it! Skip it!
JACK: Ah! Nah! BRUCE: Look at that guy’s tryna swim! *flying sound* LAWRENCE: Ok now…
GEOFF: Oh Jack!
LAWRENCE: Shit! BRUCE: *high pitched laugh* LAWRENCE: Wait! And now boost! CHAD: Wait, that’s looking good.
BRUCE: What?! ALL: OHHH! LAWRENCE: Boost! Boost! BRUCE: Oh come on! JACK: Oh yes!
CHAD: Use the boost to get through! BRUCE: Oh nice! JACK: I did it!
LAWRENCE: And now… BRUCE: All the golf carts fallin’ off the edge! LAWRENCE: See all these people that haven’t…
CHAD: He’s taking your cart! CHAD: What the hell! JACK: He’s gonna… LAWRENCE: That’s another thing about Turbid, he steals everything he can…
JACK: That’s hilarious.
BRUCE: Fuck you Turbid! CHAD: Ignore the bullets, Turbid deserved it.
BRUCE: Get your cart back. JACK: Give my fucking golf cart back you piece of shit. JACK: Boost! CHAD: Oh no.
BRUCE: Ah, LAWRENCE: You have to double boost and also both boosts have to be on the level… LAWRENCE: And all these people are gonna take all the boosts and use them like idiots. LAWRENCE: You basically have no chance of doing this. LAWRENCE: Cuz everybody’s…
JACK: So why would you pick this map!? CHAD: Is Turbid directing traffic? BRUCE: Yeah he is.
JACK: Yeah he’s pointing. JACK: Take me there, skitch. BRUCE: There’s one. LAWRENCE: Okay…
BRUCE: Now boost. LAWRENCE: And if one spawns in front of you…
JACK: Ah damn it I went for… BRUCE: Boostboostboostboost
LAWRENCE: Gogogogo JACK: *yelling*
ALL: Ohhhh! JACK: It’s like Day After Tomorrow. JACK: Maybe if I can make it. LAWRENCE: Nah. GEOFF: Nah, there’s no way. LAWRENCE: So what- you need a boost and then you need to hit that one. LAWRENCE: Get up the wall that way and then hopefully get a third on your way up. BRUCE: So there’s a third boost? LAWRENCE: Yeah. If you can grab one of those then you just… JACK: I got it!
BRUCE: You got it you got it. GEOFF: Sh sh
LAWRENCE: Okay just play it cool JACK: No one- no one knows, no one knows. LAWRENCE: They’re fuckin’ with you.
GEOFF: Boost. LAWRENCE: Don’t do it now. BRUCE: Make sure…
CHAD: Everyone be cool. JACK: Shh they don’t know I have it. BRUCE: Yeah they do.
CHAD: They do. BRUCE: Ahhhh.
JACK: Sonofabitch. BRUCE: Oh oo!
CHAD: Wait wait. BRUCE: Oh go go! go! LAWRENCE: Alright be…
BRUCE: Ohhhh get the- boost!
LAWRENCE: You’re hitting it at an angle. ALL: Whoa! LAWRENCE: Shit! LAWRENCE: That was almost perfect. JACK: You got a place to be, Geoff?
BRUCE: Geoff! LAWRENCE: Boost again! Boost again! BRUCE: Oh oh!
LAWRENCE: Boost again! CHAD: Oh wait wait. LAWRENCE: YES!
ALL: AHHHH! GEOFF: *high pitched* Oh another checkpoint, don’t mind if I do! CHAD: There ya go. JACK: *high pitched* Oh look there’s another…
BRUCE: *high pitched* Oh there’s the finish line! ALL: Yeah! Yay! *applause*
JACK: 5th place! BRUCE: Way to go Jack! JACK: There we go.
CHAD: You did it. GEOFF: I’m so proud of you buddy.
JACK: That was easy. BRUCE: He really is good at races! BRUCE: Alright Lawrence, help me out with a top tip. LAWRENCE: You got it. Top tip.
BRUCE: Tell me a top tip as I’m doing it. JACK: Wheels on the ground then boost.
LAWRENCE: Wheels on the ground and boost. BRUCE: Wheels on the ground then boost. How do I boost? CHAD: Aim your trajectory.
JACK: Wheels on the bus- they go round and round. BRUCE: Ay! Ay! BRUCE: I got! Ow! CHAD: You hit the first thing! BRUCE: I didn’t hit anything! Somebody hit ME! LAWRENCE: And good.
GEOFF: Nailed it.
JACK: If you bounce this, it’s nothing but nightmares. BRUCE: Ho! I’m in the water! GEOFF: Back it up!
BRUCE: Oh what the fuck!? GTA… LAWRENCE: There you go, okay.
GEOFF: Beep. JACK: Some good three point turning right there. BRUCE: Thank you very much. BRUCE: I’m goin’. Fuck it. CHAD: You can do it. BRUCE: Awww! Damn! Outta the water! Fuck! JACK: Ah no that’s not straight, you’re gonna bounce.
LAWRENCE: There you go. JACK: It’s gonna bounce.
CHAD: No that’s alright. JACK: He bounced. ALL: Hey! Wuh!
CHAD: You can do it. BRUCE: I did it. LAWRENCE: Don’t boost don’t boost don’t boost. JACK: Hard left hard left hard left.
BRUCE: I don’t have a boost. BRUCE: Why were there pipes?! What were those pipes that exploded?! BRUCE: What the fuck was that?! JACK: Wait.
LAWRENCE: Now boost! JACK: Now aim right, there ya go.
GEOFF: There ya go. BRUCE: Oh no that’s too much. JACK: You’re leaning flat now. LAWRENCE: Ah there you go!
BRUCE: OOOO! JACK: Left left left!
BRUCE: What do you mean carve?! BRUCE: What the fuck are you talking about, carve?! LAWRENCE: He’s gonna hit you so bad. LAWRENCE: Oh wow.
CHAD: Oh wow. JACK: Whoa!
CHAD: That was a really good boost too! BRUCE: Why thank you. JACK: You got another too.
LAWRENCE: Even out even out. Chad: Oh, look at that. Bruce: I can’t see my CART, Lawrence. Chad: What the hell just happened?! Lawrence: You gotta feel it, you gotta feel the car. Bruce: What do you mean “you gotta feel” – WHAT? Jack: you ready? Lawrence: Aaaand, start turning! Bruce: I don’t know what you talkin’ bout carve. Jack: boop! Geoff: Oh, Bruce, you made that look EASY. Bruce: Look, my time’s gonna be better than Jack’s, alright? I already told you that. Lawrence: *whispers* There you go. Geoff: Nice!
Bruce: *yelling* Aaaahhh Bruce: A wrench!
Geoff: Just knock this out, first try. Lawrence: You gotta jus- you gotta just whip it. Whip it through. Bruce: There’s water there, though! Lawrence: That’s okay, that’s okay… I don’t know if that’s okay.
Bruce: What do you mean “that’s okay”?! Bruce: You motherfucker!
Jack: Boost! Lawrence: What?!
Bruce: What the fuck did I hit? Bruce: I don’t like this game anymore.
Jack: Fire! Everyone: Ohhh!
Bruce: Get the fuck outta my way. Jack: Nice! Burst boost! Bruce: Get out of the way! Everyone: (Laughing)
Bruce: Awww… Bruce: Redlegs_, get out of the way! Bruce: Redlegs_! Bruce: Respawn you fucking idoit! Lawrence: Boom!
Jack: Boost! Bruce: What?! Lawrence: And boost again! Boost! Everyone: Booooost! Geoff: Nah, it was too late Bruce: oooh, what do you mean too late? Lawrence: Boost now! Bruce: I did. I did. Lawrence: There we go. Jack: Ooohhhh? Chad: It’s looking good. Bruce: I don’t know if i can… Jack: Yas! Chad: Boost!
Lawrence: Bruce! Chad: Just do it!
Lawrence: Boost! Boost! Everyone: Boost! (shouting) Bruce: Oh my god! (more shouting and screaming) Bruce: Did I get it?! Lawrence: You got it. Bruce: YAAAA- Bruce: (laughing)
Jack: Did he really? Bruce: Yeah! Geoff: First try!
Everyone: (cheering) Bruce: Get that cart outta the way! Bruce: I’m gonna go right… Jack: Boost. Lawrence: (chuckles) Bruce: I have a missile. Lawrence: Then shoot em backwards. That’s your boost. Jack: Yeah
Chad: Na-, no no just wait and shoot the people… Lawrence: And just cruise on through the end. Jack: You did it! Bruce: Oh wow.
Jack: Yay… Bruce: Guys this was easy! Geoff: You made that look SO easy! Bruce: Oh look! Everyone: A wheelie! Bruce: I popped a wheelie. I didn’t even mean to do that. Geoff: You did it 9 minutes faster than jack did. Jack: You did. Jack: And you came in two places after i did. Chad: Now we just commentate on-? Chad: Whose it? Bruce: No, we don’t commentate on them. We don’t watch them. Bruce: ‘Cause i don’t wanna watch them. I won! Chad: Okay. Everyone: (laughing)
Bruce: -later on losers. Bruce: Peace out, bros! Bruce: YAS, Lawrence! Bruce: Murder! Bruce: Be quiet Lawrence. Lawrence: Put some boobs on it? Chad: (whispering) Do we need to be quiet? Can they hear us? Everyone: Du Du Du DuDuDu Lawrence: Nah, its okay Chad: Are we all doing different-? Bruce: Yeah, we’re all doing different spooky music. Bruce Ok? Ready…. Go! Geoff: I just think of pup named Scooby Doo actually (Laughing) Everyone: “sings” spooky music
(Actual Spooky music plays) Bruce: Go get ’em! Bruce: Clean it up! (More Dramatic and spooky music) Everyone: (screaming as they stab someone) Bruce: Hmmm… Ah ah ah ah! Chad: Oh! Get him. Here he comes. Chad: Let’s not die again. Everyone: Awwwwwww….. Bruce: You’re good. Everyone: Oh!
Chad: There he is! Kill our rival! Lawrence: Shit! Chad: Get him! Lawrence: Wait… go away!
Chad: Nope. Nope and nope. Bruce: aawwugh! Everyone: Yeah! (Cheering)

100 Comments on "SLOWEST RACE EVER – GTA 5 Gameplay"


  1. Maybe it's because it's 1:13 AM where I am but when Jack said "Boost with both wheels. Both wheels. Wheels on the bus go round and round." I lost my shit XD

    Reply

  2. I made a gta online game play. It just has my voice and the visuals. No music at all. So is it okay to upload it without copyright issues?

    Reply

  3. every time they cheer I imagine their professional downstairs neighbor with a broomstick beating the ceiling

    Reply

  4. who is this kid? he seems so out of place. it's a shame, I might've liked him in a better context.

    Reply

  5. I like this group of guys playing, everyone works awesomely together like they've all been friends forever. Also I love Geoff with Funhaus, it's like he's hanging out with other adults instead of being a dad type

    Reply

  6. What does Turbid do all day to end up in all of these videos xD I get that they record some of these all in one day, but literally every session has Turbid in it

    Reply

  7. I can't remember why I've seen this before. Anyone have some insight as to where this was used the first time?

    Reply

  8. You guys ever thought of getting someone with a little bit of color on their skin as part of the group? just saiyan.

    Reply

  9. Bruce failing is the highlight of every GTA video. Its the best thing to cheer me up in the morning besides a cup of coffee.

    Reply

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